Worries to God

 Being a parent has been a lot more difficult than I expected. Not that I thought it was going to be easy or effortless, but I thought I was prepared enough. I mean we had a dog before her and all. 

Honestly though, it’s not so much the daily stuff - diapers, baths, feeding, constant playing, constant reading “Baby Mouse Says Please”…constant…over and over. 

The really hard part is worrying. I’ve never been one to worry or get anxious about something for very long. I can usually accept things for what they are. I am one to accept the outcome and then pivot or adjust, but with Abby, it’s a much harder ball game. 

She’s had a bit of a fever for a few days and it’s tearing me up. I hate seeing her not feeling well. I worry about her eating, drinking, peeing, pooping right now. She’s got a fever, but her little personality is still intact, just not full throttle. I feel helpless and completely vulnerable. I thank God for Cortney and her medical calmness, I’d be a mess without her.

My faith has become a center point in my life and I take to heart what I learn when I study my faith. I try hard to follow the teachings of the Bible, especially Jesus. When it comes to worry, I’ve learned to give it to God, but when it comes to this little munchkin at the center of my life, it’s hard not to worry. I started a new job - not worried. I drive every day to work - not worried. I leave the house - not worried. 

One little fever - freak out. I am anxious and will think about it constantly, but I also keep telling myself God will take care of her. He’ll help us find the medicine or the doctor, or the treatment to make her better. 

It’s not always easy to give your worries to God. They don’t just go away, but trusting in God, believing in God…truly believing and honoring Him…He will hear you. My hope is His will is for Abby to get better sooner-than-later. I’ll do my best not to worry…but it will be tough. She’s my little baby. I’m throwing out prayers for all the sick little kids and their parents who are so worried.